Today, I am feeling scared. Scared of the unknown, scared of the future, scared of the thought that I am screwing things up. What will people think? What if I can’t hack it? Self-doubt bubbles up in all its nefarious forms.
Let’s back up. Two weeks ago, I resigned from my job, a position I held for twenty years. While resigning was exciting, it was frightening, too. All of a sudden, I had this expanse of time that needed to be filled. I imagine this is how people who retire from working most of their lives feel. But does this time really need to be filled? Can I acknowledge that my conditioning makes me feel this way and that I can just breathe into the discomfort, knowing that everything will change again soon?
Breathing into this doubt, this fear, I can make space for it. Like blowing up a balloon, the feeling expands and it becomes thinner, less overwhelming. It’s still there but there is also room for clear thought. This is what I come back to every time self-doubt pervades my thoughts.
I am enough.