Lately, I have found myself getting lost in thoughts about what I would rather be doing than what I AM doing. I think this happens to everyone at one time or another but these thoughts are especially prevalent for me in my life now. Instead of being at work, I want to be at home, in bed, or snuggled up on the couch with a good book and my dog. Instead of being at home, I want to be at the beach, sitting under an umbrella with a good book and my dog. Instead of being at the grocery store, I want to be playing in the backyard with my children or sitting in a chair, reading a good book on the back porch with my dog in my lap. Wait. I am beginning to see a theme here. I crave alone time, me time, time to relax and to not have to be “on” constantly for everyone.
The other day, Patrick and I were teaching a Mindfulness class on what nourishes us as opposed to what depletes us. It was interesting, not surprising, mind you, to find most people's’ lists had more depleting items on them than nourishing ones. Do we mean to make ourselves unhappy or do we feel like we don’t deserve to be nourished? In my case, it is a matter of all the responsibilities I have as a mom, wife, daughter, teacher, and business owner. Time is of the essence and I don’t feel like I get any time for myself. In fact, our society makes people feel guilty and self-indulgent if they take time out for themselves. It is seen as selfish when, in reality, it is not selfish to take care of yourself so that you can be the best version of yourself for others.
Perhaps some of the depleting items in my life can become nourishing if I change my perspective or not listen to the negative stories rolling across that movie screen in my head constantly. Asking myself, “What is wrong right now, in this moment?” is a practice in perspective. Taking that breath, finding solace in the present moment, is a good place to start to begin to enjoy this life a little more.
